Speaking in love

'Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ. From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.' Ephesians 4:15-16

The above bible verse speaks of the idea of 'speaking in love', which for a long time I was quite confused with this concept. I suppose the reason for confusion is because I felt that 'speaking in love' contradicted the idea of not judging people.

'Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn others, or it will all come back against you. Forgive others,and you will be forgiven.' Luke 6:37

Recently, God taught me about 'speaking in love' through first hand experience. There was a decision that I had made that wasn't right with what God wanted for me and that put myself in a vulnerable position. As we all know, Satan is the 'father of lies'(John 8:44) and he does his best to make sin look appealing and like we aren't doing anything wrong. I was wearing tinted glasses, I couldn't see what the decision I had made could lead to..I was believing the lies. When we're in that place, we need a wake up call. Not only was I wearing tinted glasses but I was also not hearing properly from the extremely loud headphones I was wearing so to speak. God always talks, I just wasn't listening. So God decided to speak to the heart of someone who would hear clearly; someone who I have been building a friendship with who I value her words. She told me that the decision that I had made didn't feel right and she was there to pray for me, give me hugs and listen. That is speaking in love. When God stirs your heart...you see someone that you care about doing something that you know isn't right with God and that will not benefit their walk with Jesus and you tell them in a gentle and loving way, which means privately too. It is a heart matter. You want to help them, not criticise them and make yourself feel better. You tell them something that is not just based on your own opinions and schemas but from God's heart. It is a tricky situation that someone could possibly not want to hear clearly therefore fighting against your words but if you feel God has encouraged you to do so, you should trust Him and do so anyway. God wanted us to be in community, not trying to do it on our lonesome.

Since God had been teaching me about 'speaking in love', it was only quite rightly that He would give me an opportunity to put what I had learnt into action. I saw that some of my youth who I help lead were doing something that put up a 'come in!' sign to the devil and his evil followers. My heart ached and I knew this was God saying 'come on Daz, let's gently open some eyes'. So I wrote them a private message, which I completely believe God was writing with me, explaining what the implications could be of what they were doing and that I was here to talk and pray about it if they wanted. They responded in a positive way, which was really good and showed me that I handled the situation in the right way. If you come across a situation where you feel that you need to shine some light on a loved one's actions then my advice would be, check your heart: is the issue something that you and God disagree with or just you? how would you like someone to approach telling you if the roles were reversed? and don't do it alone, let your Heavenly Dad lead you through it. I know I've still got a lot to learn on this topic but I just love it how God isn't satisfied with our confusion but is patient with us to catch up if it is something we need to understand :)