If only this would happen..

I was feeling frustrated. I heard God and I obeyed Him with my sacrifice. I was feeling frustrated because I felt the hole. I knew as Holy Spirit stirred things in me that I wouldn't be content to live a life that is anything less than what He planned for me. But then when I made that sacrifice, I was still feeling frustrated. I could see where I had tried to get contentment from before and where I made the sacrifice I was seeing and feeling that hole. Part of me knew that Jesus would be all I needed but my heart just didn't get it, I was still feeling frustrated because I didn't feel content. I wanted a quick fix for my situation. If only I had this...  If only this would happen...  If I only I really understood this.. If only this season would be over..

I watched a youtube video tonight of Francis Chan, tired and with a heavy heart. God's patient with me and through these verses that Francis preached on He began to help me understand things a bit better.

¹⁰ I rejoiced greatly in the Lord that at last you renewed your concern for me. Indeed, you were concerned, but you had no opportunity to show it. ¹¹ I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. ¹² I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. ¹³ I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

¹⁴ Yet it was good of you to share in my troubles. ¹⁵ Moreover, as you Philippians know, in the early days of your acquaintance with the gospel, when I set out from Macedonia,not one church shared with me in the matter of giving and receiving, except you only; ¹⁶ for even when I was in Thessalonica, you sent me aid more than once when I was in need. ¹⁷ Not that I desire your gifts; what I desire is that more be credited to your account.¹⁸ I have received full payment and have more than enough. I am amply supplied, now that I have received from Epaphroditus the gifts you sent. They are a fragrant offering, an acceptable sacrifice, pleasing to God. ¹⁹ And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.

PHILIPPIANS 4:10-20

Paul was in prison when he wrote this letter to the Philippians but he exclaims here that he has found the secret of being content. It is only through Jesus that we can be content in whatever circumstances that we are in. We have all we need, we are rich in Christ. So we can be content when we have many things and we can be content when we don't have many things. We can be so content that when people bless us we can be more excited that they will get blessed by God for wanting to bless us. 

Also I can be content that in the knowledge that as I seek Him first and bless others God will meet all my needs. 

'To die would be an awfully big adventure' :)

On my bucket list I wrote that I wanted to grow something edible so with the help of my dad I've been growing runner beans. I waited eagerly with anticipation at each growth development stage. There was patience and still is as I saw the beans successfully growing. I have already had some of the harvest :D They were big and tasted lovely, and was well worth the wait. It was so nice to sit at the table and eat something I had grown. 

However, when I was picking off the runner beans that were ready to eat my dad explained to me that some of the flowers hadn't died yet so there was more runner beans to come. The vibrant red flowers need to die before the runner beans can grow. This fact of creation spoke to my heart and reminded me of the fact that being a Christian requires us to die to ourselves so that we can see God's harvest. 

'Then he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.After this the Lord appointed seventy-two others and sent them two by two ahead of him to every town and place where he was about to go. He told them, “The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field.' Luke 9:23-10:3

Lord, show me how to die for Love's sake. 

Show Me - Audrey Assad

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9b5Snkw18Lg

When the glitter is stripped away..

Last week God asked me to do something that I found hard. He asked me to not wear any jewellery of any kind or make-up. God wanted to show me that my beauty, value and approval needs to always be in and from Him.

'But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal.' Matthew 6:20  - I would rather my heart care more about the treasures in heaven that receive approval from God than the earthly treasures that can receive approval from others. 

I battled with God when He asked me to do this and even in the battling I still felt guilty for not wanting to do it. Freedom came in the first day, I felt I could breathe as I began to accept who I am. I can't lie, there were bad moments too where I was on a date with my boyfriend and so many attractive girls came on the train to which of course I noticed the little secret glance at them from his direction..I don't blame him for that. I want his attention but actually only God can truly fulfil my need of being wanted. 

It's strange but some people didn't even notice a difference, they still showed approval of me and made comments about my beauty. 

The need for approval from others steals so much joy and effort. Last week was a step in the right direction on my journey that is still a long way to go. I want to find myself in my Heavenly Daddy and enjoy collecting treasure with Him. 

What does your message say?

I bought a pack of greeting cards as I needed to send one to someone. On the back of the pack there was a piece of paper that said -

'Message inside: Blank'

As I read that, a question appeared in my mind asking 'what does your message say inside?'

'Clearly, you are a letter from Christ showing the result of our ministry among you. This "letter" is written not with pen and ink, but with the Spirit of the living God. It is carved not on tablets of stone, but on human hearts.' 2 Corinthians 3:3

I would like to reveal the new message that God writes each day on my heart that beautifully explains who He is and what amazing things He is doing in me. Sometimes I feel like the people I meet only get half the message because either I allow the others things to cover the words or they are just to blind to see it. For the times it is me, Lord challenge me with your grace and the times that it is others, open their eyes Daddy God. 

The moments that people read the message God writes elegantly on my heart and the soil in the garden of their hearts are ready to receive the seed are just so beautiful I wish I could take a photo and frame them to remember them. 

What is the message God has placed in my heart today..
'I delight in you but I also delight in others. It breaks my heart to see injustice. I want to use you to bring my Kingdom, to bring joy to a broken world. Let me. Don't just sing of my glory, show it. Little acts are actually really big to me'

What does your message say? :) 

A whole lot of beautiful

'They say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder
But most of the beholders are looking over their shoulders
And beauty is slowly leaving this world
And love turns to hate and selfishness unfurls'   (29th Chapter)

I don't want to look over my shoulder. I see a whole lot of Beautiful and it's changing me.

The beauty in sisters looking for the good in each other instead of looking for a fight.

The beauty of meeting God in worship and discovering what matters again.

The beauty of a friend revealing that she still cherishes something I gave her long ago.

The beauty in being a part of a young person's journey with their Heavenly Father.

The beauty of the delicious flavours of gelato on your tongue.

The beauty of a community coming together to celebrate the inspiration of sport

The beauty of using a gift God gave for everyone to enjoy

The beauty of allowing someone into your heart and walking alongside one another

The beauty in something so small carrying so much hope

The beauty of a blanket of snow reminding that He's cross covered our sins and made us pure.

The beauty in sharing

The beauty of an unexpected friendship that nurtures your soul so much that you wouldn't want to be without and anticipating what you'll discover next. The beauty of a smile that you find Jesus in.

The beauty in being silly and not caring how ridiculous you look because you're more importantly having fun

The beauty of vibrant new life

The beauty of having fun dancing with your friends

The beauty in celebrating the miracle that a person is

The beauty in embracing a new place and learning through amazing people

The beauty in allowing landscapes to take your breathe away

The beauty in watching the sun go down

The beauty of people who know you completely and love you well, no matter what our lives look like

The beauty of pieces of music that move your soul

The beauty of the power of prayer

The beauty of admiring a piece of art

The beauty of achieving something that took a lot of hard work

The beauty in someone who finally let something go

The beauty of a meaningful hug

The beauty in a heart fully surrendered to Jesus

Jesus, You are the beauty.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Th5UTNGgv60

Getting burnt!

For a while now I have been asking God to show me what it really means to guard my heart.
'Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.' Proverbs 4:23

Then as I looked in the mirror at my sore red, peeling back, arms, nose and shoulders something began to make sense. The world is full of things that can appear to be good and are okay in small doses but if you're not careful it can lead to you getting burnt. Guarding my heart is about watching the environment I am in, putting the 'sun cream protection' on of spending private time with Daddy God and allowing him to show me and speak truth over my life. Now I did put sun cream on while I was in Guatemala, factor 30 in fact, but not enough; I wasn't continually putting it on or being careful how long I was in the sun for. I just enjoyed how the sun looked on the water, the feel of it on my skin; it appeared harmless. My burnt back reveals otherwise. I am still on a journey of learning what it means to guard your heart. I would love to hear your thoughts on the topic...:)

Revival Through Unity

I was away at a conference a couple of weeks ago that was themed on the Father's Heart. The speakers were Mark Stibbe founder of 'The Father's House Trust' and Heidi Baker founder of 'Iris Ministries'. When I was standing under an open heaven of intimacy with my Heavenly Father there was a great release of God's mercy. I saw His children in need of being bought back into the arms of their loving Daddy God and I was wrecked. Tears and more tears. Since the beautiful garden of Eden, Satan has been making orphans, he is the ultimate orphan-maker. He made orphans out of Adam and Eve and he has been in that profession of stealing, lying and destroying ever since. It's time it stopped. Both spiritual orphans that need their Heavenly Father and orphans on earth that have no parents.

A way that this could be overcome is for spiritual mothers and fathers to rise up in the church.
God speaks in Malachi 4:6 that God will 'turn the hearts of the fathers to the children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers.' Through God speaking to me through the book 'Jesus Culture - Living A Life That Transforms The World' by Banning Liebscher and in other ways, God has revealed His heart to me that He wants revival to come through the generations aligning themselves. Blessings fall in abundance with the power of God's ordered alignment. In Exodus 17, there is the story where Joshua was sent with some other men by Moses to fight against the Amalekites. While Joshua and the rest of the army fought courageously and skilfully, Moses was holding up the rod of God overlooking the battle. Even though Joshua and the army were well-trained, they began to loose the battle as soon as Moses' arms weakened and the rod lowered but once again they became victorious when Aaron and Hur assisted Moses in holding up the Rod of God. The victory could not have been won without each generation. Moses and Joshua were dependent on one another and in correct alignment. There was a submission to authority and there was an honouring of the elder.

There is a generation gap in the church that is quenching the Holy Spirit and stopping revival. Banning Liebscher describes two reasons for this. The first reason is that there is a spirit of independence in the generations. The younger generation has the mind-set that they can do things without the older generation and that the older generation do not understand them. Pride oozes out. Now when God was rising up this passion in me to see the generations align, it was only right that He showed me the garden of my heart which actually had the weeds of independence in it that were choking life from allowing me to see God's greatness through alignment. The seeds of independence were sown in my childhood where once the Lord set me free from the enemy using fear against me, he caught me in another way where I felt that because I had relied so much on my parents in that fearful time I had to prove myself. So once God revealed this to me, we dealt with it  together with lots of Holy Spirit weed killer. It has produced a lot joyful freedom as I re-aligned myself with my parents and He is teaching me to honour them fully.

The next reason is that the church has believed the lie that Satan has been telling them about how revival is going to come. The lie has seem to spread like wildfire that revival is only coming through the younger generation. Eck-errr! Revival is coming when the generations unite. So come on spiritual mothers and fathers! rise up! There are no lesser sons or daughters of the King. God can use anyone! You just have to position yourself to cling to the Father. Allow Him to love on you and then let that love pour out on others, on your spiritual sons and/or daughters. Who are you investing in? and who is investing in you?